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This gives them the freedom to be creative and discover things without expectations.We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.

“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.

I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.

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Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).